Family violence is more than physical violence.
Family violence can affect anyone, in any type of relationship, family, culture, age group, or community.
It is often complex, hidden, and difficult to talk about.
Many people experiencing family violence do not immediately recognise what is happening to them, especially when abuse is emotional, psychological, financial, or controlling in nature.
Understanding family violence is an important step toward safety, support, and change.
What Is Family Violence?
Family violence is about patterns of harm and control
Family violence is a pattern of behaviour used by one person to gain power and control over another within a family or intimate relationship. It can include physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, cultural, spiritual, or digital abuse.
Family violence is not always physical.
It often involves behaviours that create fear, reduce a person's independence, limit their choices, or affect their sense of safety and wellbeing. Everyone has the right to live free from violence, abuse, and control.
Types Of Family Violence
Abuse can take many forms
Family violence can include a range of behaviours designed to create fear, control, dependence, or harm.
Emotional & Psychological Abuse
Emotional and psychological abuse can include:
• Constant criticism or humiliation
• Intimidation or threats
• Blaming someone for the abuse
• Gaslighting or making someone question their reality
• Manipulation and guilt
• Isolation from support networks
Coercive Control
Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour designed to limit a person's independence and freedom.
It may include:
• Monitoring movements or communication
• Controlling daily activities
• Restricting access to friends or whānau
• Dictating how money is spent
• Creating fear through threats or intimidation
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse may include:
• Hitting, pushing, grabbing, or restraining
• Throwing objects
• Damaging property
• Threatening physical harm
• Preventing someone from leaving or accessing help
Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse includes any sexual activity or contact that occurs without free and informed consent.
Financial Abuse
Financial abuse may involve:
• Controlling access to money
• Preventing someone from working
• Creating debt in another person's name
• Monitoring or restricting spending
Digital Abuse
Digital abuse can include:
• Monitoring phones or devices
• Tracking locations
• Reading messages without permission
• Using technology to intimidate, threaten, or control
The Impact Of Family Violence
Family violence affects every part of life
Family violence can have wide-ranging impacts on individuals, children, whānau, and communities.
It can affect a person's physical health, emotional wellbeing, confidence, sense of safety, relationships, housing, employment, and financial stability.
Children who experience or witness family violence may also be affected, even if they are not directly targeted.
The impacts of family violence can continue long after the abuse has stopped, influencing a person's ability to trust others, make decisions, and feel safe in their everyday life.
Common Misunderstandings
Family violence is often misunderstood
There are many common misunderstandings about family violence.
One of the most common is that family violence is only physical abuse, when in reality it can also include emotional, psychological, financial, sexual, cultural, spiritual, and digital abuse.
Another misconception is that people can simply "leave" an abusive relationship. In reality, leaving can be complex and may increase risk due to factors such as safety concerns, finances, housing, children, or ongoing coercive control.
People also sometimes believe family violence only happens in certain communities or households, when it can affect people of any age, culture, gender, income level, or background.
These misunderstandings can make it harder for people experiencing family violence to seek support and be understood.
Unsure if what you are experiencing is family violence?
You do not need to have a label for what is happening before reaching out.
If something in your relationship or home feels unsafe, controlling, frightening, or overwhelming, support is available.
Need support or information?
Our team is here to listen, support, and help you understand your options.
24-Hour Crisis Line
0800 208 339
🏳️🌈 Everyone deserves safety. Everyone belongs here.
Womens Refuge West Coast is an affiliated member of the Women’s Refuge National Collective, working alongside refuges across Aotearoa to support women and whānau experiencing family violence.
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